Pantryraid: ruining lives

One night some months ago I was high and looking at the Nutella and thought 'I wonder how vanilla wafers would taste with that.' I had some already or put them on the list. Either way, I soon combined the two. First taste and I understood I'd discovered something powerful.

I like them with whipped cream, but if you're unsure, just consider it a serving suggestion

I like them with whipped cream, but if you're unsure, just consider it a serving suggestion

No different than other great fusions--mac&cheese, pb&j. Simple and a little decadent. Maybe comforting, maybe lush and sultry.

This is downright dirty.

I've intro'ed the combo to several folks, all who now regard me with loathing, as though I were the local pusherman. 

Yet they keep talking to me if for no other reason than to lay blame for their new addiction. One fuckable friend now texts me snaps of her Nutella impulse purchases and late-night cravings. Below she sent her Christmas dessert in the hotel.

hotel wafers.jpg

Meanwhile, Girl says she came home to find Boyfriend knuckle-deep in the Nutella jar, 'Nilla crumbs scattered round. "And he watches what he eats," Girl informs me (just in case I wasn't aware). 

I joke that in a parallel universe 20 years from now he ends up on My 600 lb Life. She defends him, insisting it won't happen.

"I'm talking about Parallel Universe Boyfriend." Sigh.

Seriously, don't try them. Either 'Nilla wafers or their full Vanilla competitors. They ruin lives.