Everything must go!

Calendar of events

Here are some things coming up:

Soon: Betty Goldblazer puts a sign in my yard

A few weeks later, give or take: something corporate job something. Something.

Before or after, depending: Moving Sale Of A Lifetime (mine, at least)

Next: Tell Girl see you someday, maybe.

Then: Go for a drive.

At last: Check no bags.

Also happening, perhaps unrelated: Songkran, the Thai New Year celebration and water fight. Can you imagine being caught in that as your introduction to the country?

One year ago

My d-i-v-o-r-c-e became final one year ago today. I use passive voice here not just to echo Ms. Wynette but because the actual event was an anti-climax. After exceeding the one year minimum for parties to be separately domiciled and developing an "optional but highly recommended" Mediation Agreement.

Not the first time she came complaining.

Not the first time she came complaining.

Then came the Complaint in language boilerplate enough to be downloaded. Then the Motion for Summary Judgment and then the judge, having verified the court's determination of no genuine issue of material fact remaining, granted the mutually agreed Absolute Divorce.

Documentary proof I suck at future-predicting

Documentary proof I suck at future-predicting

Doing things amicably was right--spend a little save a lot nobody wins but nobody should, not financially. I still believe in the power of penance. By the time we reached the paper trail's end our raw edges had sanded down. We'd learned to be civil and even playful.

"I can't imagine wanting to divorce someone more than you."

"Aww! I feel the same way!"

It sounds like a Ben Folds Mashup:

We lived together as husband and wife for two years and three-ish months. She moved out that long ago and more. And obscured by all the reasoned, detached, measured words was a crushing load of conflict anger and guilt that caused (and was further created by) the wreckage I created. Because the end result had to be better.

She's remarried now, I think. Haven't seen her since the day before our Absolute Divorce was decreed. One of her early worries--one she repeated that last Sunday--was that I would erase her from my life. I assured her otherwise, and added I was looking forward to it being finalized, so she could be around me if she wanted to, not due to legal requirements or because she still had stuff in my house.

An Optimized Life

I'm REALTOR (R) shopping. Message a few and get responses in minutes excited to meet me and learn more about my desires. I feel like the hot chick on Tinder. Or the real one.

Halloween 2015 was cray

Halloween 2015 was cray

I have lots of documents related to this home and I hope this one will help show its benefits. Then imagine the convo with Betty Goldblazer, CRB.

"The efficiency could be even greater(!) if the thermostat management features were used." I say.

"Well why didn't you use them?" She asks, her tone registering surprise that her forehead disregards as if bouncing the notion off its wrinkle-free shell.

My life can't handle this much caps lock

My life can't handle this much caps lock

"I don't know. Because so what if it's not perfect? If I get cold I put on a layer. If I get hot I take them all off. It's fine, so I don't think about it. I don't have to think about it. Everyone wants to make everything perfect, and nothing ever is. Never can be. But we fight it. We grow depressed emulating or competing with people we don't even know. We sell solutions to problems that aren't problems (apart from you being a lazy ass)."

"I am not lazy! In addition to being a Top 10 Producer, Goldblazer NextCentury Champion level from 2007-2010 and again in 2013, and earning the prestigious--"

"Yeah yeah, I wasn't talking about you. It was an aside. Click the link."

"What link?" She exclaims, the heights of her incredulity matching only those of her bottle blonde bouffant. (That's alliteration y'all).

"Point is, none of it matters. Perfection is rare by definition. Hard to attain. There's only one thing I want to be perfect in this life right now and that's my writing. I know that can never be either, but I reach for it. I work toward it. To make it as perfect as I can. To tell my stories, in my way. And I hope people get it, too, because this writing thing isn't about selling it is about communication. But that's where all my best efforts have to go. 

"And a house needs love and effort I can't give so let's get it in the hands of a family who will love it the way it deserves. Some family who will appreciate its Prom Staircase and will clean the gutters once in... ever. That's why."